From Expectation to Inspiration

The call goes forth, 'go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' ( Matt 28:19-20)
 The response is.... surely someone else will do it? I'm to busy planning my own life getting my goals achieved. Setting a life that is pleasing and fun. But is it really that, aren't you called for more, to do more, to search for more to discern more...?
There's got to be more to life then being happy, having the latest accessories, having a job you like. Something burns inside me for more, more love, more passion, more joy. But where do I attain it from where does it come from, will it even last?

John 4: 13-14 says "Jesus answered ' everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.' What is the water that God gives us? Is it not love? For it overflows from his heart to ours and spills out on to everyone we give it to. It's an overflowing fountain, never ending. Love, I thirst for it yet it overwhelms me, yet I want more. Mike Bickle in his teaching about the Song of Solomon, says this is love sickness. The Bridegroom is love sick for his bride, and we the bride should be love sick for our bridegroom. We must know him, and to know him in the Jewish context is to know someone intimately.
So I am on an adventure to seek after this love, to find it, to behold my husband Jesus, the one who showered me with kindness, love, affection, grace, the one who laid down his life for me. So that he as scripture says he will received the reward of his suffering; by walking in faith trusting that he is a safe God, that he is my provider, that he goes before me, he is right beside me.
 To trust this love that is eternal, that keeps flowing; fear grips me but I shake it off as I gaze at his beauty, the one who is found worthy. (Revelations 5:4-5)


'Go and make disciples'... what are disciples? People that follow a leader, learn from him walk like him, talk like him, reflect him. Oh to reflect the one my heart loves. We were made in the image of God in his likeness we were created. So how does it happened? What makes me be like him? He has called me a daughter of God, a royal priest, his beloved one. These are whom he my lover says I am, so what does it look like to be a daughter of God, a royal priest, his beloved? I don't rightly know but I'm willing to take the chance to find out, because the burning inside me longs to find something new, something overwhelming. Something so deep it hurts but fulfills me to the core. So as I go to the secret place my heart ponders what he will say to me, what will he want to talk about anything or just behold the beauty that I have gleaned from him?

The great commission as it is now called may seem like an expectation Jesus said to do... but he calls us to be His Sons and Daughters to be the people that he has called us to be. And in doing this we will be doing the great commission. Because it won't be out of obligation but love. Love for our father, our Bridegroom, love for the one our hearts yearn for. So ponder for a while and think about what you do and ask yourself are you being who you have been called?

Do you know the way you move me?

Do you not know that when you look to God, when you seek him out he is so ravished by you, when you say yes to God and no to the things of this world his heart is moved? Our human brains can't really understand that a God who is Almighty, All Powerful, All Worthy of Worship is moved he is overcome with emotions for you. Jesus is captivated by you.

Think about something that pleases you, like maybe a song, or a movie with significant power, it moves your heart to help or learn more about the history of it. Like Goodbye Bafana. It’s the story about Nelson Mandela and the hardships and joys of his life. And even to this day we remember what he did. It moves your heart and pulls on your heart strings, to reach out to those in need, those that are being mistreated, and those whom have been misjudged. Times your emotion by a 1000% and this is how God feels for you. It’s quite uncomprehendable, but who are we to not let God have these feelings towards us!

God wants to share his love that is why he created us, that is why he sent his Son to die for us so that the relationship could be restored. That he would be able to share his affections towards us.

Something to mediate on and encourage us is this: ‘The day we were born into sin has been concurred, because of what Christ did, so we are now not the person the world claims us to be or says we are. But we walk now in who we were made to be, from the beginning. We walk out something’s that might seem hard but we need to keep the focus on we are concurs"

Jesus feels about you how the father feels about him, such immense love, such intense and satisfying love. We need to renew our minds, to continue to fill it with the truths of who God says we are and how he feels about us.

"We destroy strongholds of the mind; which are a collection of thoughts/lies that are in agreement with the devil and not with God; by feeding our spirit and feasting on the truths of whom God is and who we are to God." We need to do this because it damages our intimacy with God. Because the truth sets you free and reveals us to the full knowledge of how God thinks of us.

When we can say oh God I see my weakness I see my struggle, and yet you love me, yet your heart is moved we start to understand grace, understand a bit of who God is. When you can get this when you can say Oh I'm dark I'm so full of sin but I'm lovely to you God, I am my beloveds and He is mine. Then you will be growing in love sickness for God. And when you are lovesick in the Kingdom you can also simultaneously be longing and thirsting for more of God. Even when he gives you his affections and they are overwhelming over powering and you feel you just can't handle them, you want more.

God wants a partner he wants to share his life with another, Just like we desire to share our lives with someone else, we long to express ourselves to someone in a way where we know they won't judge us wrongly, they will love us no matter what. I know for me I long for this I long to be loved by someone else and to share that back with them. To always journey with someone by my side, that knows what I do and knows who I am and can tell me when I forget who I am and to do it in return for them.

How I desire and long for intimacy with the Lord with someone else too, with my husband. I am lovesick for him. I want to be with him yet I will wait and spread my fragrance out to the world of the fruits he has planted in my garden.

God I pray you would give my love freely to others for the glory of Jesus whom has placed that love in me.I desire to give love back to God, to give him all of me. Voluntary love is when God comes into your garden and makes it His by YOUR invitation.

I pray this comforts your heart and encourages you to go deeper in the word to know for yourself the desires and thoughts God has for you.

Blessings to you

Renee 

Remembering the old to press on in the future

Remembering the years gone by, the times where there was much joy in my life, helps me see my situation of sadness as something that, with God's love I can press on. Lately I have been working quite a lot at Coffee Club doing dishes and serving customers. I have also been emailing students for the next school making sure they have all the things that they need to come. This has all caused me to be quite tired, especially after last Sunday (Mother's Day) we were so busy that basically everyone that worked at Coffee Club was there working. It was a blast and lots of fun, and well organised. I'm so grateful to have a job, that God has blessed me with the skills to work in hospitality and make other peoples days better. But to be honest when I get tired my shield and strength starts to fail and negative thoughts come in and I feel like I don't have the strength to fight the lies that the devil throws at me, So some prayer would be lovely please.

I'm reading a book at the moment called 'A meal with Jesus' by Tim Chester. It's really amazing to read how God spoke things, he fulfilled them through Jesus and also showed in part what the Kingdom of Heaven will be like with its feasts. Did you know that the feeding of the 5000 is a foretaste into how God will prepare for us a banquet in Isaiah 25:6-7 God says "on this mountain the Lord  of hosts will make for all people a feast of rich food...." You may know this as the Messianic Banquet of the one that God will have when we get to the new age the new kingdom. It's true and God showed us a little bit of how it will work with the feeding of the 5000. Cool ae there is also an amazing quote by Simon Carey Holt "...Most of what you do as a community of hospitality will go unnoticed and unrecognised. At base, hospitality is about providing a space for God's spirit to move. Setting a table, cooking a meal, washing the dishes is the ministry of facilitation: providing a context in which people feel loved and welcome and where God's spirit can be at work in their lives. Hospitality is a very ordinary business, but in its ordinariness is its real worth." This makes me feel very privileged to be one who provides good hospitality, by inviting people and making them welcome and cooking for them. (even if I don't get to do it all the time) 

Anyway that's just a little up date on how I'm going and what I have been doing in the last couple weeks. I was reading my journal earlier today and came across something that I wanted to share with you. Back in February Hope Centre (the church I attend) held a conference and I got totally wreaked by the Holy Spirit, I loved it, God revealed to me a picture and the feeling of what it was like to be the prostitute caught in adultery.
 (John 8:1-11) She was thrown to the ground in front of Jesus with a crowd of abusers asking Jesus questions. I felt and saw Jesus just writing on the ground. I felt the insults, the threats, the discussion, the pain and intensity of shame. Oh I felt so vulnerable  so worthless. I had been caught in sin, and thrown at a man so worthy of condemning me. I dear not look up, but as my doubts started to fade in the moment, the fear lessoned as the voices disappeared. I looked up and heard a voice say "neither do I condemn you go now and leave your life of sin". Such hope and destiny were found in those words. A grace unconceivable by man, given only by one who could condemn but chose to love instead. WOW right, imagine yourself in that same position after you've done something wrong, no matter how bad, God forgives us he loves us so much that he forgives rather than condemns. Romans 8:1 says therefore there is now no condemnation. Praise God for this, that he came to give grace to lay down his life so that we might in his resurrection take up his life, to be with his father be with our father, our creator. It just blows my mind the intensity of God's love. There is hope for the hopeless, peace for the restless because of God's great love and mercy. I pray this encourages you to seek God even in your darkest moments.

In news about the internship I have applied for it and need to do auditions for it. I've already done it for singing which is good, but I'm praying about whether to do it for the guitar and the cello. I may just do both and see what they think. So would you please keep me in your prayers as I venture into a place of worship for 3 months, that God would meet me and encourage me and heal my broken heart.

I pray for you all that God would pour out blessings, and if I know of anything in particular that you need prayer for I will pray for that. If there is something in particular you want me to pray for you for please just email me and I will pray for you as you pray for me. 

God's abundant blessings be with you 

Much love 
Renee