Emotions are an ever present feeling that we have day to day
hour by hour, reactions all make us human. This concept freaks me out because
from emotions there are sad or upsetting ones also. Dealing with issues and
facing fears is something we need to do for breakthrough in our lives. Jesus
calls us overcomers through him because he himself overcomes the grave;
unimaginable right but it’s a fact. And fact shows truth.
God has really been dealing with my inefficiency to make
myself accept the fact that I am good enough. I don’t feel good,
my actions aren’t always good my heart is somewhat darkened by the flesh and
the evilness of my nature. But I must believe what God says about me because
that is the truth, its reliable and it will never change. God says that I am
good that he delights in me that he cherishes me and holds me close. He knows
me intimately and calls me his daughter although my mind doesn’t fully agree
with this I have a longing in my heart that I wobe true.
Studying the Sermon on the Mount this week in lectures has
really pulled my heart strings to want more yet know that it’s not me that can
do it but God in me. (Blessed are those who are poor in spirit, for theirs is
the Kingdom of Heaven Matt 5:3). Longing also for justice to take place around
the world, longing for wrong to be made right, longing for sin to be executed from
my being forever also is heavy on my heart. (Blessed are those who hunger and
thirst for righteousness for they will be filled Matt 5:6). In all this I mourn
because it hasn’t happened yet. Living in a generation that wants things ‘right
now’ is hard, as God’s timing is perfect but it’s not my own. So fighting
against the flesh and culture of today I cling for true reality for the one in
which my heart longs for, for heaven where I will be with my husband, (Jesus) I
will not be in torment, or pain or cry or hurt or be lovesick. I long for this
every breath of my day, yet I don’t want to be selfish and want his return now.
(Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Matt 5:4) Because I
know that there are more to come into the kingdom, more to be lovers of God.
More People to realise their potential and victory in the cross of Christ. And
so I ask for patience to endure this pain; one of the teachers on the
internship said ‘when are we ever going to be able to love God through weakness
again? When are we ever going to be able to tell others about what Jesus did in/for
us?
Last week the spirit of God broke out on an intercession set
as we cried out for unbelievers, for our close ones that didn’t know God. My
heart felt like it touched God’s and my cry was ‘there isn’t enough, there isn’t
enough people yet?’ So my heart is burdened for the lost, for those that don’t
know they are accepted into the family of God; that they are so loved that even
while they were God’s enemies he loved them, thus the creation of the world
happened. (Rom 5:8) Before the earth was created God knew us he thought about
us and wanted us to reflect his beauty. (Psalm 139) Wanted us to receive and
give love, and not love that the world knows but his love. This is
unconditional, never changing, and fully free. Fully extreme that there is no
measurement as to how wide, deep, long and high it is. (Eph. 3:18) It is who he
is God is love, in all his expressions he is the one who it originated from, he
describes it through his truth/word displays it in creation and reflects it through
his children. We will have confidence when he returns because we are like God
who is love and you love, love because it first loved you. And in love there is
no fear it casts it out through the power of love itself. (1 John 4:16-19)
*Next goal receive the love of the Father.
No comments:
Post a Comment