Only Jesus

When I am in doubt
When I am ashamed
When I have done wrong

You are the way
You are the truth
You are the life

When I feel darkness surround me
When death is haunting
When my doubts assail me

You are the way
You are the truth
You are the life

Forever I will say, You are the way, the truth and life
Can anyone come to you? A part from the father's consent.

Come he says, come away
Come sing to my heart.
For I find strength in the presence
I see the light
That you are the only way,
the only truth the only life.

Expressions of Pain

After reading a book produced by photoginx, YWAM Kona called 'Act Here Love Now' and having my heart torn for the reality of what happens around the world, the Lord helped me express my pain through a few poems.

Mouth

Behind the faces are the pain, scars and lies,
words have killed yet words can revive.
It only takes a word, a touch, a sign to make things right.
What are you doing with your life?

Do you speak truth, or do you speak lies
every one of them builds on top of the other.
Yet one truth can set a person free to dance, to sing, to make music for the King.
How are you changing lives?

Through prayer and petition through giving life
each second counts, words are life,
so be careful little mouth what you speak

1st world Suffering

Rejection, pain, bitterness and grief all parts of the 1st word life
We struggle with them on a daily existence, but what will set us free?

What is the opposite of these things what is beauty in your eyes?
Acceptance, health, forgiveness, and joy these are the things that will change your life.

It is in the eye of the beholder that beauty is found, who is looking?
Is it not the Lord God Almighty from heaven he looks down.

Lord God Almighty what then do you see as beautiful?
My Sons and Daughters acknowledging me with all their hearts living righteously, devoted to me.

Black Skin, White Skin Beautiful in his Sight.

Tears held in, tears let out,
crying out for the ones without
the untouchables, the unseen, the wounded and criminally unseen.

What to do, how to act yet I come to the fact,
My life is joyful not in my eyes but in the ones that watch me walk by.

White skin, black skin beauty as its own
the Lord God made us beautiful all on our own,
radiating, dazzling in his light
one day Jesus will be coming what a great sight.

Is this Really ME?

New Zealand runs in my bones, it pushes me to go on,
 seeing the blood life of New Zealanders causes my heart to burn.
 A deep longing for it to experience the Lord, and his great love.
 The whole mass, from North to South from the east to the west.

I cry out for an encounter for my nation.
 It can't be done some say,
But I know the word it says all things are possible,
 nothing can get in the way,
Of God changing a nation in a day.
Sweeping hearts with fire, the flames start within.

 Desire for more desire for greater things stir my heart to sing.
When Lord will you break in,
 how do I position my heart for him to move,
 When will the day be when I truly know
 that this is what God has called me to be?
 I learn about his goodness, his father-ness
 and know all I need to be is his daughter.

Speak sometimes, speak few things,
 the presence of the people, a person sobers the heart to repentance.
Peace, Peace I say to you, you bring peace.
Fellowship and community, perceptive and hungering
all things that I'm pondering,
do I have what it takes to make it though this day?

 Is it me or is it the Lord that causes this pain,
this longing for more, how do I live this day
pleasing and holy to the Lord?
Do I ever makes his day, Do I even feel him near?
Just one touch will this really satisfy?
Time and sessions pass me by,
 Is my mundane life all that I'm meant to be?

A word in season, a knowing of oneself,
identity lies within. Who I am is who he is,
 reflecting a mothers heart,
 a gentle child, a lovers desire.
 But for what? Do I really impact lives?
Do I really speak words of truth?
The ups and downs the going around, what is it all for?

My heart is displayed before the King,
Open and wounded from life's attacks,
My heart lives on my sleeve, for all to see the meaning of life itself.
An open vessel, and treasured possession,
Is this really me?

I Found Where I Belong

I went away to be birthed
I went away to be nourished with truth.
I went away for my hunger longed for it.
I went away to come alive.

Now being awakened, I carry a new thing
A thing to be birthed, a large package;
It will be delivered to a people yet known.
A burden for souls to be awakened
To rise from the ashes and step into beauty.

To know oneself is to know ones maker.
So follow me to the merry tune.
Skipping and singing towards the King.
Come away to be romanced,
By the King of all Kings.

Your beloved one awaits
Your beloved one longs,
The beloved one pursues your heart.
A noble theme,
an encounter of the heart,
Just one word
Just one phrase
Just one touch will melt your heart.

Don't hold back, never let go,
Don't let distraction, shame or envy make you go
From the arms of mercy,
the arms of love.
Come to him who calls you his own.

For your identity is in him,
He alone knows and sees you.
He is your protection,
Your sense of hope.

Come all ye who are weary,
Run to him,
Bound over the hills.
For he awaits, he longs,
He desires you to belong.

With a Joy Unending

Death is a passing in His story
A journey that is well devoted, well loved, well accomplished in life.
Leaving this body of sickness, the disease riddled with sin.
But oh the joy she now has singing at the feet of her King.

Oh the joy of living fully for the one her heart has longed to see.
Eyes wide open now, beholding the beauty of this Man.
Eternity waits for those who have a heart
A focused devotion to the King.

Eternity with the one named Love, Joy abounds in His nearness.
Joy is gladness overflowing, Love resounds like a symbol, crashing to and fro.
Her life was a devotion, her life was a nearness to her Lord, her life a resounding symbol of joy.

Come close to the one who knows you,
Give him all you have, for His delight is in you,
His joy overflows to you.
His peace, His love,
His security is found
Only in the presence of the Lord.

So draw near my weary and sad ones,
be comforted with a joy unending.

Just one Flame

The yearnings and burnings the longing goes on,
 day after day face after face, word upon word,
 What is it that you want to say?

Ravish my heart, stir it with fire,
 The embers of the fire are starting to burn.
Sing to me and dance by me for your nearness is what I long for.
Just one word, just one touch causes my heart to burn.

Words go forth and words go up, returning with an outcome.
 Will it be life or will it be death for the words will cut the heart of flesh.

Come Lord Jesus, Come to my aid,
 Refresh me, renew me cause a flame,
A burning desire for you. Only you satisfy, only you remain,
 only you sustain my heart with just one flame.

A book review that touches the heart

It’s not Business its personal- by Bob Sorge.

A review by Renee Pearce

It’s not Business its Personal is convicting and thought provoking as to the way we live our lives in community and relationships with others. Knowing how Jesus sees us his bride and his affections for her gives me deep joy in my heart that there is someone out there that does and will stand on my behalf, will rescue me, by keeping me accountable and disciplining me to seek the bridegroom and not take my attention and affection from him.

As young girls we longed for our prince charming to come sweep us away so that we will live happily ever after because with him there will be no fears or things to come between us, that will make or stop us from knowing the affections of our prince. Jesus is a Jealous bridegroom and we are his bride but we are also; when we are leaders in ministry; the friend of the bridegroom. Picture a wedding the groom is at the front of the church the best man or friend of the bridegroom is there right beside him. He is there to encourage and support the groom to make him look good. The bride walks down the aisle and the grooms attention is focused solely on the bride, if the friend of the bride tries to get the attention of the bridegroom or even the bride or spoil his or her moment, don’t you think that the bridegroom will get really annoyed. We as the bridegroom’s friend are not meant to take the affection or attention of the bride off the bridegroom otherwise that would mean that you are competition and not a friend. So we need to point people to Jesus not ourselves, do not take what is his. He is the King of all Kings he is the ruler of all do you not think that he will bring justice against you. So when you’re in ministry you need to be aware, of whose affections you’re looking to, to validate who you are. God the father has chosen us mere humans to be the bride of Christ the marriage arrangements have already been made, Christ paid the bride price and we are just waiting for the groom to come back for the bride.

If we are the bride then why are we the bridegroom’s friend too, isn’t that the Holy Spirits job? Thoughts about how the Holy Spirit is a spirit, and likes to use humans to display and speak through makes me come to the conclusion that we are the friend too, but then isn’t this about one bride and one groom? How does the bride; being a number of people be one, communicate or know who the groom is?

This book convicts and speaks to the heart of why we do things. Are we in ministry to get a name for ourselves? What is our hearts response to others being blessed when we are still on the same track going around the mountain? If we are the vessels God uses to show his glory and bring more people into the Kingdom then we have such an important job to look to the groom for his affections and attention, rather than other people. But you might ask what if the bride also shows you affection or attention? Humility is the way to go thank them but point them to Jesus, if we can’t do this then why are we in ministry? It’s a hard question to ask but we need to get to the root of it; is our heart in the right place or are we letting our flesh rule us, believing that only you matter. It’s not about you it’s about God!! He made us to be an image bearer of himself, to love on and display himself through. In return we get to have the God of all creation, the King of all Kings and Lord of all Lord’s affection and attention and live with him forever. This is only a temporary time on earth in which we get to show him off to others, telling others of his great affection for us. So what will you do now to show others your groom?

The father asks us to do different things give up or let go of people or titles or wealth that we think is our own. Abraham gave up his son, Job his wealth and family, Esther her reputation and life, Mary her inheritance and stability for living, and all for what? God tests us to see what is really in our hearts, for us to be able to see our true nature to see who he sees us as. Character building or the unveiling of our true selves can and will be tested time and again to see the purity and cleanness of our hearts. God himself takes our relationship personally making commitments and covenants with us when we mere humans are not able to keep them, and he knows that. What a generous and loving God he is. So is your relationship personal or are you just in it for the attention or the money?  Choose wisely for it will be revealed at the end of time who and what you chose, whether by naivety or knowing the truth will it set you free?  Are you blowing your own trumpet or the one who calls you friend?

Many questions have risen after reading this book and this is good for it makes me think and ask questions to Holy Spirit the one who lives in me and knows my heart. He will speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

Is God really enough for me?

Is God really enough for me, I look at my circumstances I look at my friends they all have things that seem like they are happy because of the things that they have, an iPhone, the latest gadget, money to spend on food, on clothes and enjoyment needs. But really do these things really satisfy? Does it give our hearts a deep revelation that we are loved and needed or are we filling a hole? Food, love, money, an encouraging word, a warm hug from a friend are small fillers of joy. But isn't there a lasting joy something that satisfies to the core of who I am?

"You make known to me the paths of life; in your presence there is fullness of Joy, at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."   Psalm 16:11

So how does this happen, where do I find this knowledge, this fullness of Joy? It is in your presence. What is your presence? 'The state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing. the area that is closet to someone. someone or something that is seen or noticed in a particular place.' How are we meant to know God is present? He shows himself by moving our hearts or speaking to us.

There is another gem that we get also when we are in his presence we get pleasures forevermore. Bonus!!

Where are you finding pleasures? In friends, in gadgets, in relationships, in travelling. I'm not saying that these are wrong not in the least God created them for us, but we need to come back to the 'One thing I desire' that David wrote about in Psalms 27:4. To have an audience of one approach to get in the secret place and spend time with God. To find pleasures and joy in his nearness. We want to be fascinated and captivated by his beauty, by WHO HE IS. Searching his heart to find our likenesses. To really go deep in the fullness of him who is limitless, yet consistent in all his characteristics not pushing aside one to pick up another like we mere humans do.

Have you ever been in a state of mind or circumstance where everything that could go wrong did and you are fighting the attacks, you are being persistent and crying out for God to break in? Listen to these calming words from Asaph in Psalms 73:23-27 I know it made me stop and realign my thoughts:

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Listen to what Portion means:

 inheritance, share, allotment, award

For it is better to have God for OUR ALL than to HAVE ALL and be without God.

Listen to those statements YOU hold my right hand, YOU will receive me to glory. there is power on those words and God speaks them to us to encourage us to seek him alone.

So when your feeling down never forget God is right beside you he has already walked the road ahead of you. He formed you and created you HE KNOWS YOU BY NAME!

A Poem about 'The End Times Church'

If you are wanting to hear in the language of poetry what I've been learning about, this is a God inspired poem from the overflow of my heart. I pray you will enjoy it and be challenged to seek the throne room for your own encounters with the Bridegroom King.

                                                  The End Times Church

The time has come the day has dawned when new things will arise.
Awakening a sleeping people from their rest,
to put on their armour and pick up their swords. 
Preparing for a war that is yet to come.
But this is not a physical war against flesh and blood of man, 
but that of the Spirit, fighting things yet to be seen with human eyes.

But the spirit sees and the spirit knows what to do and how to be strong. 
So we equip ourselves with spiritual armour making time 
to shine it and make it strong to protect the important parts.
The preparation time has come this is done through prayer, 
fasting and spending time in the secret place. 
Making sure you have your oil and have made yourself
known to God, as he has done for you.

The time has come the day is near, Jesus our saviour will return
in the sky with clouds around him and fire in his eyes.
His sword that is coming out of his mouth; his name on his thigh.
 He is coming back in power, he is coming back to fight, 
to conquer once and for all the evil of this world.

The nations will wage war against God Almighty, throwing their fists around.
 Destruction will come for those who do not fear the Lord of Hosts. 
The one who will come on a white horse; 
leading the Hosts of Heaven in an up roar against the earth. 

 Demons will scatter the light of the saints will stand, 
calling and beckoning the scattered people to come to safety in the light of salvation. 
Oh the darkness how it emanates across the world the sun has gone, 
the moon does not shine, only faint light of the saints, 
will be seen praying 24/7 for the wickedness to stop
 and for the return of the King.

Fear the Lord for he is bring justice to the earth. 
Come be overwhelmed by his father’s heart towards you.
 Be saturated by the immensity of his love His faithfulness to his bride is immaculate.
 Oh how the woman hungers and the man thirsts for the banquet table, the feast of the Lord.

The heart beats a 1000 times over, beating to the drum of heaven. 
Supernatural things happen the church itself will see. 
The bridegroom is ready, the shout goes forth.

Valiant man take up your sword, valiant men put on your armour.
Pick up the spears to throw, the darts of the Lord will not be shattered.
The arrowhead will not diminish or break.
Faithful ones raise up your voices, righteous ones be glad.
Sing of the joy in your heart, sing, song loudly of the goodness of the Lord.
His presence is near it will come with the Kingdom of Heaven.
The kingdom of the King of Kings, royal brothers declare the faithfulness’s of the Lord,
 royal ones take your place. Set your crown upon your head,
 be robed in your garments. Be adorned in your jewels 
the ring has been placed, the royal one has come.

The valour of men is tiny compared with the valour God places in man. 
Oh the desires of the father’s heart towards his children, 
his desire oh how he longs to be with them, to hold them to rock their fears away.

With fire in his eyes the passion of the King for his Queen, His Bride. 
Don’t you see wicked people the Lord he is one and only God.
 The one who satisfies your deepest longings, your deepest  desires.
 For he knows you and created you. Unique to shine his Glory in different ways.
 Do not look to the right or to the left but to the one your heart will desire.

The one thing you are destined for comes,
come to salvation come to love with the son of God, 
the son that laid down his life. 
Laid down his own plans and was lead by the voice of the Lord. 
Oh listen people, listen to the still small voice. 
For he is calling, calling his people to come
 to repentance to come back to their first love.

The Lord is Almighty worship and give him praise. 
Oh people of this world. 
Have you not seen there is a rising generation, 
ones that will be surrounded by prayer, by thanksgiving to the Lord. 
They will not stand for your lack of interest against the injustice and crime. 
They will not be quiet in your ears, not until the Lord’s name is a praise on the lips
 of the nation he calls his own.

Pray, pray oh saints how their prayers are poured out on the earth 
daily will you listen oh God. Send forth your mighty angels to do the cries of the saints.
 Pour out the bowls, the spirit has come, he’s stirring the bride,
 awakening to get ready for the bridegroom.

Put on the wedding dress, pure white in his sight. 
Pearls and gems gleaming and draping down the aisle magnificent in beauty. 
Robed in splendor and graciously confident, of the love she has for her lover. 
Excitement spreads across her face a smile of delight adorns her appearance. 
Shining in the beauty of her King.

In the dressing room she waits for the call the announcement for her time to come.
The day has dawned when she will be joined together forever
 with her beloved in spirit and in truth.

The spirit and the bride say come.(Revelations 22:17)

The Wilderness season – The Knowing of Oneself

Jesus was lead into the Spirit to be tested and tried to see what his heart confessed. Knowing who he was he stood his ground when Satan came and tempted him with making food- the pleasures of the world, - throw yourself off a cliff- tested him about who he was as the son of God and also worship of idols or things we hold dear to ourselves that are more important than God.

Coming to Tauranga I have really been persistent in know whom God created me to be and taking this time in the presence of the Lord (internship with THOP) I am learning about who he is and what he reveals in me to others. (Growing fruit for others) What he enjoys about me and learning about one’s true self is so exciting, yet hard to live out because it is actually reality and it is actually the person God created me to be before the creation of the world. Living in a world of torture and pain of constant rejection and disappointment (demonic attack) I look to Jesus my beloved one to search him out to see our likenesses and believe that my heart is good; because he has given me a new heart one that longs for his return. My heart sees him as the only thing stable and reassuring in my life. Knowing that it’s not about talking to people or having something to share (although this is good) that it is in the presence of a person that we are pleased, feel accepted. By just being in a room gives courage and stability to others; this is what Jesus has been showing me. That he is near me, he is my protection (Psalm 18:9-16) he is my gallant prince that rescues me. A lot of tears have been shed; deep pains healed, forgiveness of oneself has been received at a heart level. And knowing that by perseverance God is leading, he is my stability, he is my guide. One of the great Revelation that I have had is that I, Renee am a daughter of God, reborn to reap a blessing of God. I am a strong warrior and a busy one that seeks out understanding to share with others. I like to help people to rise from the ashes into the beauty of the Lord that surrounds them. God is birthing in me a fire that sets others ablaze that rages and imparts encouragement, wisdom and blessing to others.

This is me, exciting aye!!

In other news we are going on outreach for the internship and are going to be staying in Lower Hutt with the Hope Centre church down there. We had a Volleyball tournament this last weekend and my team came 2^nd YAY. I’ve been getting a lot of lyrics from God’s heart and just been enjoying life up here in Sunny Tauranga.

Please keep me in prayer in regards to protection of my heart, the building up of faith for me and others. And that unity will be in the hearts of the people here in Tauranga. Also please would you consider praying and asking God for a word for me as to what he wants me to do next after this internship? (Please email me if you do get a word from God, or even if you are encouraged by this update.)

God bless

In HIS timing, and for His Pleasure

Walking by faith through the journey of emotions

Emotions are an ever present feeling that we have day to day hour by hour, reactions all make us human. This concept freaks me out because from emotions there are sad or upsetting ones also. Dealing with issues and facing fears is something we need to do for breakthrough in our lives. Jesus calls us overcomers through him because he himself overcomes the grave; unimaginable right but it’s a fact. And fact shows truth.

God has really been dealing with my inefficiency to make myself accept the fact that I am good enough. I don’t feel good, my actions aren’t always good my heart is somewhat darkened by the flesh and the evilness of my nature. But I must believe what God says about me because that is the truth, its reliable and it will never change. God says that I am good that he delights in me that he cherishes me and holds me close. He knows me intimately and calls me his daughter although my mind doesn’t fully agree with this I have a longing in my heart that I wobe true.  

Studying the Sermon on the Mount this week in lectures has really pulled my heart strings to want more yet know that it’s not me that can do it but God in me. (Blessed are those who are poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven Matt 5:3). Longing also for justice to take place around the world, longing for wrong to be made right, longing for sin to be executed from my being forever also is heavy on my heart. (Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled Matt 5:6). In all this I mourn because it hasn’t happened yet. Living in a generation that wants things ‘right now’ is hard, as God’s timing is perfect but it’s not my own. So fighting against the flesh and culture of today I cling for true reality for the one in which my heart longs for, for heaven where I will be with my husband, (Jesus) I will not be in torment, or pain or cry or hurt or be lovesick. I long for this every breath of my day, yet I don’t want to be selfish and want his return now. (Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Matt 5:4) Because I know that there are more to come into the kingdom, more to be lovers of God. More People to realise their potential and victory in the cross of Christ. And so I ask for patience to endure this pain; one of the teachers on the internship said ‘when are we ever going to be able to love God through weakness again? When are we ever going to be able to tell others about what Jesus did in/for us?

Last week the spirit of God broke out on an intercession set as we cried out for unbelievers, for our close ones that didn’t know God. My heart felt like it touched God’s and my cry was ‘there isn’t enough, there isn’t enough people yet?’ So my heart is burdened for the lost, for those that don’t know they are accepted into the family of God; that they are so loved that even while they were God’s enemies he loved them, thus the creation of the world happened. (Rom 5:8) Before the earth was created God knew us he thought about us and wanted us to reflect his beauty. (Psalm 139) Wanted us to receive and give love, and not love that the world knows but his love. This is unconditional, never changing, and fully free. Fully extreme that there is no measurement as to how wide, deep, long and high it is. (Eph. 3:18) It is who he is God is love, in all his expressions he is the one who it originated from, he describes it through his truth/word displays it in creation and reflects it through his children. We will have confidence when he returns because we are like God who is love and you love, love because it first loved you. And in love there is no fear it casts it out through the power of love itself. (1 John 4:16-19)

*Next goal receive the love of the Father.

Please continue to pray for me as I search the heart of the father to find our likenesses and see who I am in him. 

The Importance of having Table Meals

Society shows that many people no matter their age are looking for belonging because the home is not a safe place anymore, a church is a safe place, but a lot of the churches around the world are not leading people to the cross and to live the Kingdom Culture or standards of living. I’ve been reading a book called The Power of Covenant by Kingsley Fletcher; it talks about how important covenants are and how they affect you both good and bad. God uses them to show us his love and commitment to the relationship he wants and has with you. One important thing I’ve learnt from reading this book is that in a Covenant relationship you need to be genuine with speaking the truth and also in honesty. This is awesome because it is also one of my life goals; to be open and honest in all my relationships.

 What made the family homes not so safe anymore? Why are so many people sharing their feelings with people that are not safe or family? We all long to belong somewhere, to be known to share our hearts and not be judged if we do something silly or wrong. We want to be corrected in love not judged and laughed at. I know for myself that I look to guys to seek affirmation and approval; I am in the process of receiving this now from God and him alone. We can’t live without God because he has the manual he has the book of our lives and how to do things right in front of him waiting for us to come and ask him what to do and how to do it. Which reminds me of my DTS when we had father heart week with Frank Naea, we had to pick a name from a hat then ask God what he wanted to say to them and how he wanted us to tell them. Some people wrote songs gave gifts used analogies and just blessed our soaks off; the immensity of God’s love was radical a day I will never forget. I pray that you to would be encouraged to ask God in your relationships with people what He wants to say to them and how he wants to say it then sit back and watch God totally wreak them.

Anyway getting back to the title of my blog the table is so important, it represents a place to commune, to share to be honest and just share things with each other. This is so important to living to being able to express ourselves to be known and heard. There are something’s that we as humans need they are basic things like food, water, safety, and belonging. To live without out these things is just utter despair, people search and look for the latest thing to satisfy them yet they look all in the wrong places unless they look to Jesus they will never be totally satisfied. I’m not saying you can’t get satisfaction in friends, technology, eating or enjoying an activity but they don’t last, they never can totally satisfy the depths of your heart. It’s not an easy thing to get total satisfaction, actually it’s a daily thing getting away from the busyness and getting to the secret place to actual commune with God, to listen to him to hear his voice is overwhelming and indescribable it just feels so good.

So who are you sharing the table with, are they safe people, people that you can trust to be honest to be genuine and speak truth into your life?

What will your family life be like? Whether you have started making one or not, what Covenant promises are you going to implement to make sure your table is a safe place for your kids?

THINK ABOUT IT!!

A Day in the Life of Renee at YWAM Bethlehem

  A day in the life of Renee at YWAM Bethlehem

I feel that to get to know people, to invest in them and learn from them we need to see and hear about their daily lives as well as the struggles and victories they have. So here is a little bit of what I do here in Tauranga:

Monday morning I get up and spend some time reading the word. Then by 8:30- 9 I go to the house of prayer, meditating on the goodness of the Lord, before I go into briefing for an intercession set. (This is where we sing a few songs then sing in the spirit.  Someone then picks a topic to pray for and a scripture. Then prays the singer sings from the scripture asking God for the topic to happen.) This is based on scripture how the seraphim cry out to God singing Holy Holy, Holy, so we cry out to God asking for justice and for him to move in the place. We pray for the youth of Tauranga or NZ and a number of places and people groups.  This is done about 3 times within a 2 hour set.) Some sets we do worship with the word where we expand and go deep in the scripture as the Holy Spirit leads us to sings. After eating lunch I do any planning or work that I need done for hospitality, organising the speakers, making sure there is enough things to make a welcome card and gift pack. As the day progresses I head out to faith bible college for community night where we have teaching or a fun night of games and communing with each other.

I normally sing once or twice a week depending on the schedule and the others days that I go to the house of prayer I study the word and engage in the prayer. Every Friday night we have intercession where a lot of the community come join together to pray.  Sometimes I go to the sessions during the week when the speakers are speaking on the DTS.

This has been just one day in the life of Renee at YWAM Bethlehem.

Thank you:

Thank you so much for supporting me in prayer and continuing to seek the Lord, I pray a blessing on you and your families. I keep asking the Lord for new revelations for you so you will be able to grow deeper in love with him.

This next session of my life will be a bit more different as I will be a student again, spending about 20 or so hours in the house of prayer then also having teaching and lessons in the instrument either singing or guitar, depending on if I get in with the guitar.(Next week I will be auditioning)

Prayer Requests:

·         Please continue to pray for me that I will be able to get all the money I need to do this internship, I need about $4200 and have about $500 towards this.

·         Also keep in prayer the students that will be coming for the next school there are about 20 at the moment that have either been accepted or are in progress.

·         Please pray that God would keep growing me in his word and in the authority he has placed in me. That I may know a new depth of his heart towards me, towards his bride and have an understanding of who he is.

·         Please also pray that the stress of living as a missionary would not continue as I have been struggling a lot with this at the moment. 

Check out the video about what happens on DTS here at YWAM Bethlehem




http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Vlt_NzL3kcA

Giving it All for His Glory through a Heart of Generosity

From selling homes to making last minute decisions this tuition free DTS has proven that God is God and he is Jehovah Jirah. For myself I started off with only having 2 weeks rent and nothing more. For many students it was not having any money towards outreach. But seeing the generosity of their team members and fellow students God has provided and maintained us throughout the faith journey. 62 students 30+ staff living in the kingdom culture by relying on the kings generosity and favour. Faith has been given a new name in the community of YWAM Bethlehem radical love radical faith radical joy. Stepping out in faith although it seems hard in the natural is helped by the focus on the victory of the end. 

At Hope Centre we have been learning about the end times or eschatology as it is known. Having a concept of what will happen, knowing what to look for in the season of the coming of Jesus. We need to making sure we are ready and have our oil and lamps shining. For the world will be a dark place full of deception and deceit much more than it is today, and you can see it is increasing rapidly. So what do we who call ourselves Christians do while we wait for the return of the King? We grow in love with him, we lean on him and we show others his beauty. How do we do this? By being a daughter or son of God, not by doing but by being. Not by seeing but by believing. Having this concept of the kingdom in mind helps me through the tough days I face. Knowing that there will be no more tears or pain or darkness or temptation. None of it will be there, even death will not be a memory. Because of the joy and goodness, because of the worth and delight of Jesus we will be all consumed with the fire of God, we won't have to long for him to be with us because he will be forever. Our feeble minds can't comprehend forever because it's not meant too, our hearts though have eternity written on it. (went on a bit of a rant)

DTS is just about over (a few days left) for this half of the 2013, students will be leaving to go home some will return others will pursue what God has placed on their hearts. All in all the tuition free DTS will be marked as a success, an accomplishment with a picture. We started off with a blank canvas not knowing how to do it or what it would look like, now as we have placed strokes of paint and the picture is coming into view. Family, Love, Generosity, Extravagance, Worship and Prayer, and Intimacy being the centre of it all. Looking back at all the days planning and prayerfully spent makes my life surreal, not comprehendable by the worlds standards of living. But we are called to live by the spirit as Jesus did, doing only what the father tells us to do and walking in HIS strength to accomplish what he desires. 

Excellence has been pursued in this DTS to make the experience even more meaningful and lasting. Graduation will be in a couple of days and many staff are spending a lot of time and effort making decorations and planning a great night to finish this tuition free DTS, we hear in our staff meetings that other YWAM bases are looking at our base and wanting to live radically; to reach more people, to impact them the most, for it is from a heart of generosity that love flows. 

From Expectation to Inspiration

The call goes forth, 'go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' ( Matt 28:19-20)
 The response is.... surely someone else will do it? I'm to busy planning my own life getting my goals achieved. Setting a life that is pleasing and fun. But is it really that, aren't you called for more, to do more, to search for more to discern more...?
There's got to be more to life then being happy, having the latest accessories, having a job you like. Something burns inside me for more, more love, more passion, more joy. But where do I attain it from where does it come from, will it even last?

John 4: 13-14 says "Jesus answered ' everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.' What is the water that God gives us? Is it not love? For it overflows from his heart to ours and spills out on to everyone we give it to. It's an overflowing fountain, never ending. Love, I thirst for it yet it overwhelms me, yet I want more. Mike Bickle in his teaching about the Song of Solomon, says this is love sickness. The Bridegroom is love sick for his bride, and we the bride should be love sick for our bridegroom. We must know him, and to know him in the Jewish context is to know someone intimately.
So I am on an adventure to seek after this love, to find it, to behold my husband Jesus, the one who showered me with kindness, love, affection, grace, the one who laid down his life for me. So that he as scripture says he will received the reward of his suffering; by walking in faith trusting that he is a safe God, that he is my provider, that he goes before me, he is right beside me.
 To trust this love that is eternal, that keeps flowing; fear grips me but I shake it off as I gaze at his beauty, the one who is found worthy. (Revelations 5:4-5)


'Go and make disciples'... what are disciples? People that follow a leader, learn from him walk like him, talk like him, reflect him. Oh to reflect the one my heart loves. We were made in the image of God in his likeness we were created. So how does it happened? What makes me be like him? He has called me a daughter of God, a royal priest, his beloved one. These are whom he my lover says I am, so what does it look like to be a daughter of God, a royal priest, his beloved? I don't rightly know but I'm willing to take the chance to find out, because the burning inside me longs to find something new, something overwhelming. Something so deep it hurts but fulfills me to the core. So as I go to the secret place my heart ponders what he will say to me, what will he want to talk about anything or just behold the beauty that I have gleaned from him?

The great commission as it is now called may seem like an expectation Jesus said to do... but he calls us to be His Sons and Daughters to be the people that he has called us to be. And in doing this we will be doing the great commission. Because it won't be out of obligation but love. Love for our father, our Bridegroom, love for the one our hearts yearn for. So ponder for a while and think about what you do and ask yourself are you being who you have been called?

Do you know the way you move me?

Do you not know that when you look to God, when you seek him out he is so ravished by you, when you say yes to God and no to the things of this world his heart is moved? Our human brains can't really understand that a God who is Almighty, All Powerful, All Worthy of Worship is moved he is overcome with emotions for you. Jesus is captivated by you.

Think about something that pleases you, like maybe a song, or a movie with significant power, it moves your heart to help or learn more about the history of it. Like Goodbye Bafana. It’s the story about Nelson Mandela and the hardships and joys of his life. And even to this day we remember what he did. It moves your heart and pulls on your heart strings, to reach out to those in need, those that are being mistreated, and those whom have been misjudged. Times your emotion by a 1000% and this is how God feels for you. It’s quite uncomprehendable, but who are we to not let God have these feelings towards us!

God wants to share his love that is why he created us, that is why he sent his Son to die for us so that the relationship could be restored. That he would be able to share his affections towards us.

Something to mediate on and encourage us is this: ‘The day we were born into sin has been concurred, because of what Christ did, so we are now not the person the world claims us to be or says we are. But we walk now in who we were made to be, from the beginning. We walk out something’s that might seem hard but we need to keep the focus on we are concurs"

Jesus feels about you how the father feels about him, such immense love, such intense and satisfying love. We need to renew our minds, to continue to fill it with the truths of who God says we are and how he feels about us.

"We destroy strongholds of the mind; which are a collection of thoughts/lies that are in agreement with the devil and not with God; by feeding our spirit and feasting on the truths of whom God is and who we are to God." We need to do this because it damages our intimacy with God. Because the truth sets you free and reveals us to the full knowledge of how God thinks of us.

When we can say oh God I see my weakness I see my struggle, and yet you love me, yet your heart is moved we start to understand grace, understand a bit of who God is. When you can get this when you can say Oh I'm dark I'm so full of sin but I'm lovely to you God, I am my beloveds and He is mine. Then you will be growing in love sickness for God. And when you are lovesick in the Kingdom you can also simultaneously be longing and thirsting for more of God. Even when he gives you his affections and they are overwhelming over powering and you feel you just can't handle them, you want more.

God wants a partner he wants to share his life with another, Just like we desire to share our lives with someone else, we long to express ourselves to someone in a way where we know they won't judge us wrongly, they will love us no matter what. I know for me I long for this I long to be loved by someone else and to share that back with them. To always journey with someone by my side, that knows what I do and knows who I am and can tell me when I forget who I am and to do it in return for them.

How I desire and long for intimacy with the Lord with someone else too, with my husband. I am lovesick for him. I want to be with him yet I will wait and spread my fragrance out to the world of the fruits he has planted in my garden.

God I pray you would give my love freely to others for the glory of Jesus whom has placed that love in me.I desire to give love back to God, to give him all of me. Voluntary love is when God comes into your garden and makes it His by YOUR invitation.

I pray this comforts your heart and encourages you to go deeper in the word to know for yourself the desires and thoughts God has for you.

Blessings to you

Renee 

Remembering the old to press on in the future

Remembering the years gone by, the times where there was much joy in my life, helps me see my situation of sadness as something that, with God's love I can press on. Lately I have been working quite a lot at Coffee Club doing dishes and serving customers. I have also been emailing students for the next school making sure they have all the things that they need to come. This has all caused me to be quite tired, especially after last Sunday (Mother's Day) we were so busy that basically everyone that worked at Coffee Club was there working. It was a blast and lots of fun, and well organised. I'm so grateful to have a job, that God has blessed me with the skills to work in hospitality and make other peoples days better. But to be honest when I get tired my shield and strength starts to fail and negative thoughts come in and I feel like I don't have the strength to fight the lies that the devil throws at me, So some prayer would be lovely please.

I'm reading a book at the moment called 'A meal with Jesus' by Tim Chester. It's really amazing to read how God spoke things, he fulfilled them through Jesus and also showed in part what the Kingdom of Heaven will be like with its feasts. Did you know that the feeding of the 5000 is a foretaste into how God will prepare for us a banquet in Isaiah 25:6-7 God says "on this mountain the Lord  of hosts will make for all people a feast of rich food...." You may know this as the Messianic Banquet of the one that God will have when we get to the new age the new kingdom. It's true and God showed us a little bit of how it will work with the feeding of the 5000. Cool ae there is also an amazing quote by Simon Carey Holt "...Most of what you do as a community of hospitality will go unnoticed and unrecognised. At base, hospitality is about providing a space for God's spirit to move. Setting a table, cooking a meal, washing the dishes is the ministry of facilitation: providing a context in which people feel loved and welcome and where God's spirit can be at work in their lives. Hospitality is a very ordinary business, but in its ordinariness is its real worth." This makes me feel very privileged to be one who provides good hospitality, by inviting people and making them welcome and cooking for them. (even if I don't get to do it all the time) 

Anyway that's just a little up date on how I'm going and what I have been doing in the last couple weeks. I was reading my journal earlier today and came across something that I wanted to share with you. Back in February Hope Centre (the church I attend) held a conference and I got totally wreaked by the Holy Spirit, I loved it, God revealed to me a picture and the feeling of what it was like to be the prostitute caught in adultery.
 (John 8:1-11) She was thrown to the ground in front of Jesus with a crowd of abusers asking Jesus questions. I felt and saw Jesus just writing on the ground. I felt the insults, the threats, the discussion, the pain and intensity of shame. Oh I felt so vulnerable  so worthless. I had been caught in sin, and thrown at a man so worthy of condemning me. I dear not look up, but as my doubts started to fade in the moment, the fear lessoned as the voices disappeared. I looked up and heard a voice say "neither do I condemn you go now and leave your life of sin". Such hope and destiny were found in those words. A grace unconceivable by man, given only by one who could condemn but chose to love instead. WOW right, imagine yourself in that same position after you've done something wrong, no matter how bad, God forgives us he loves us so much that he forgives rather than condemns. Romans 8:1 says therefore there is now no condemnation. Praise God for this, that he came to give grace to lay down his life so that we might in his resurrection take up his life, to be with his father be with our father, our creator. It just blows my mind the intensity of God's love. There is hope for the hopeless, peace for the restless because of God's great love and mercy. I pray this encourages you to seek God even in your darkest moments.

In news about the internship I have applied for it and need to do auditions for it. I've already done it for singing which is good, but I'm praying about whether to do it for the guitar and the cello. I may just do both and see what they think. So would you please keep me in your prayers as I venture into a place of worship for 3 months, that God would meet me and encourage me and heal my broken heart.

I pray for you all that God would pour out blessings, and if I know of anything in particular that you need prayer for I will pray for that. If there is something in particular you want me to pray for you for please just email me and I will pray for you as you pray for me. 

God's abundant blessings be with you 

Much love 
Renee

Press on, press on press on they say..

"Were coming to a close for the time being, were resting in the presence of the Lord. Acknowledging him and gleaning from him the words that our hearts long for.

The battle of the mind its full of constant questions of analysing the truth from the lies. Time is needed time is forgotten, we must go on.

Press on press on press on they say, with a constant battle and a fight to be won. Remember the days, where joy was overflowing, and your heart was singing a song, to the creator God. Remember the days of old remember the days just gone, where your heart was full of love and gratefulness to the Lord. Look for the good things in the present day, think of these and move on.

The breakthrough is near the trumpet will be blown, victory is just around the corner. Press on press on press on they say. Stop the thoughts and adjust them, think about the good, think about who I say you are. For I have called you by name desert flower in the season of bloom, the fragrance is ready it has been infused. The colour has been chosen and seeps its way through, to the petals of your hearts garden.

The essence of who are you is starting to shine its starting to show from the inside out the beauty will be known."

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So to up date your all we are a few days away from sending 81 people to the nations to preach the love of the father and invite people into his family, Oh the joy of serving in this community even when the going gets tough. My mind says run away but my heart says I belong. So I stay and commit to being here for however long the Lord asks me. In July I will be setting my heart to focus on worship for a season. The house of prayer (T.H.O.P) is running for the first time a worship internship where we can grow and develop in our musical skills, while being mentored and stretched in our spiritual walk. Its a 3 month internship where we set our hearts to seek God's face to come before him like Mary and worship him at his feet, where we do Psalm 27 vs.4 "One thing I ask of the Lord this is what I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." Also to fifull the call to the great south land of the Holy Spirit to make "...incense arise from the ends of the earth we will hear singing, glory to the righteous one." Isaiah 24 vs. 14-16.

http://www.thop.co.nz/worship-internship/

It also has an outreach phase where we travel around New Zealand to minister and awaken a sleeping bride to the love of the bridegroom. This is for a month, I am really expectant and excited about doing this and ask that you would pray that I would get all that God has for me in this season. That I will be honouring God myself and others in taking this step of faith to learn about worship.

here is something that I've been thinking about lately:
My heart is for the workplace and to see the kingdom culture being expressed in it. Especially in the hospitality industry. I'm sick of seeing people think a restaurant/cafe job is second rate or an easy way to get through college. Hospitality to me is a valued and important part of every culture and being at a table: develops fellowship and safety within that culture. Because food and enjoyment are a must and is something we need to develop, and hold as a high priority in our lives especially in these days, as there is so many evil things happening. The table is the place were the game face is removed, where opinions are valid. Where questions are asked and laughter is essential. Where we can commune with each other and express a different way of worship to God by being in unity while we nourish our bodies. (I'm still developing thoughts about the importance of the table, and what true hospitality means. I want to influence the people I work with so that they are getting excellence -means useful to God- and will see him by my hospitality- : The act or practice of one who is hospitable; reception and entertainment of strangers or guests without reward, or with kind and generous liberality. )

What else do you find valuable about coming to the table?

I'd love your feedback.

Oh the joy of knowing

  1/4/13

Oh the joy of knowing that my saviour loves me, that HE delights in me that when I said yes all was changed between us in an instant. How I long for my brain to catch up with my heart, in the joy of the knowledge of God and who HE says I am. How I long to forget the broken past I created for myself lonely and betrayed, desperate and rejected along the way to true freedom, true deliverance from my past, from my failings. Jesus has taken away my sins he has washed me clean by the cleansing blood, no longer do I Renee of this world live but I am a new creation a reborn creature loved, accepted acknowledged, freed from bondage and despair.

 How to forget the former things how to forget the ways I’ve walked, only by renewal of my heart, soul and mind can this be done. Oh that my redeemer would cleanse me again, renew the fire and soften my heart, help me to learn of the goodness of the Lord without fear without rejection or pretence. Oh I long for freedom like water to the barren body, like we wait for the coming of the Lord.

But today I stand and declare I will think of whatever is pure whatever is righteous, whatever  is good and noble and uplifts. Today I choose to put on the armour to shine my shield and strengthen my body for the fight, and we must be ready, for the time is drawing near when darkness will be so wicked and so defiled that there will only be little lights seen around the world. Where Christ’s saints will be singing a song that’s never been heard one that will rise from the great south land of the Holy Spirit one that will declare Glory to the righteous one, peace on earth and prosperity to mankind, Jesus let your name be lifted high let day and night intercession be evident in our lives. Your Kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Extravagant Love

Friday the 29^th of March 2013 what a significant day for a lot of people in the community, as we do for most schools we set aside a day/ time where we come and bring our loaves and fishes for outreach fees, but this one was different this one was more sacrificial well for me anyway. People gave money, surf boards, computers, different things to help each other get to the places God was sending them to be missionaries; it’s just like in Acts when they gave all that they had, no one was in need, because the community was a giving generation. Remembering this reminds me of where we want to go where we want to take this community of Jesus Lovers to a place where God has a resting place where people feel safe and cared for. This is the community I live in one where we are kind to each other, we speak words of life and not death, we treat the different sexes with respect and honour; yes we make mistakes but we ask forgiveness. Oh what a blessing it is to be here. 

Sacrificial love was given like our rights to have something, we gave up our families our right to be married our dreams and things that were self-seeking. And Gods heart rejoiced over our love given back to him, for he is MOST worthy of ALL Praise. Psalm 45 vs. 10-11 says “listen O daughter consider and give ear: forget your people and your father’s house. The King is enthralled by your beauty; honour him for he is your Lord.” We studied this in worship with the Word on Thursday we need to let go of our former ways or own thought patterns, we have been accepted and adopted in to a new family Jesus’ family where there is a new way of living, We get to live in this Kingdom as Sons and Daughters, Princes, and Princesses, we need to learn the new way of the kingdom it is counter cultural to that of this world, where the last will be first and the first will be last, weaknesses can be used to show strength.

 I went forward and shared my heart that which the Lord had asked me to give up ‘my right to marry and my right to fulfil my own dreams without God in them’. I'm believing and growing in my faith that, that  which he has placed in my heart to fulfil will come to pass in HIS timing and by HIS will, and all things will be swept away that are not from him. It says in Zechariah 4:6 “not by might nor by power but by my spirit says the Lord.” After I did this and so many other people got up I felt such peace such freedom to do what God wanted me to do, what that is I don’t rightly know at this stage; but he is revealing to me his mysteries a little at a time. (as much as my character can handle without becoming prideful). I love God so much I will go where he sends me,  do what he asks me to do, speak to whom he wants me to speak too, oh the depths of my heart overflow with love for him. Bring on his Return.

Identity and Kingdom Culture

Orphans vs. Sons of God Sin created the orphan spirit when we chose to eat the apple in the Garden of Eden. So because of the orphan-ness of this world people try to be like God, to take his place in their lives as father, provider, saviour, King, carer, supreme ruler, authority and so much more. “Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped.” (Phil 2 vs. 6) Yet he was God, but he came to show the way through humility and showing love to the least of these. How much more should we who are made up of many numbers (the church) be like Jesus in his servant hearted way. Even unto death he did ONLY what he saw the father doing and said what his father told him. He showed us what being a Son of God is. Ephesian 1 vs. 4-5 says “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will” So we are made with a DNA that longs for unity, oneness with three parts to it, (our bodies, soul and spirit). So in connection with human beings we are created to be in relationship in three parts male, female and God. Man wasn’t lonely when he was in the garden he was alone which is different because God saw, that he in himself had three parts Father Son and Holy Spirit. Man had masculinity and feminity in him but there was still something missing. So God took from the male a part of the feminine make up and created female in human form. But they were both Adam, it wasn’t until they had both eaten from the apple that anything happened, and Eve wasn’t named until Adam rejected her as the woman and accused her of giving him the fruit. God was always meant to be in the picture of who we are part of our make up because we are created in his image and likeness. He is the author and creator of who we are. He knows our inner most being because created us he knows that you struggle with this or that, he knows you have sickness or get tired easily. He created you to reach out to him for wisdom and understand in how to live life his perfect way. Being given this revelation that we are sons and daughters of God knowing our original design gives fresh understanding and freedom from the lies that we are surrounded by. Coming into the light brings overwhelming love joy and peace, because it’s the truth and it sets you free. We need to keep reminding ourselves and each other of whose we are and what it means to be a son and daughter of God. Read scripture it describes who we are in Christ Jesus.

A culture of Honour and the meaning of a name. I have been pondering and been given revelation from my father in Heaven of the culture of the Kingdom and how we are meant to be “in this world but not of it” (Romans 12vs.2). We can practically apply the culture of the Kingdom by serving and loving others. For me I find the words we speak to be very important because they either bring life or death. That is all we do with our tongue up-lift or encourage or criticize and put down. Thus I am weary of what I say to people. While also wanting to help create an environment, a characteristic in the community I live in where ‘I love you’ is meant as brotherly and sisterly love. Where you are free to say ‘I love you’ and not be scarred that they may think you like them and want to marry them. To shake off the lies attached to God’s words. That religion has made nasty in our mouths. The other day I learnt what my full name meant and it’s surreal to think that when my parents first saw me they prophesied life over me, destiny over me. So my name is Renee—Born again. Elizabeth—God’s promise, I am God’s daughter. Anne- Grace and favour, prayer. Pearce—Rock. Amazing right? I feel these words are becoming fruition as I use the giftings and talents God has placed in me to excel in, and reap (which is my initials) the good harvest.

Ponderings and words of wisdom from the Song of Songs 3/3/13 Renee- re: Mike Bickle The pleasurable knowledge of God’s word gives us language to who He is. Song of Solomon describes the longings of the bride and the groom for each other. It reveals the adoration and depth of character built as one gets to know the other. We find that as we meditate and ponder the true essence of the bridegroom the internal beings of who he is gets caught in our skin; by his perfume; to reveal the true nature of the bride. Verse two of chapter one says “let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is more delightful than wine.” His word comes from his mouth; the declaration of himself is expressed through his word and imparts his love towards the bride. As the Father loves the son so the son loves you. This is described and expressed through his words, which is his adoration of the unity of God, Son and Spirit. We get the joy of experiencing this love because we are the one that it gets imparted too, expressed upon, given too. The revelation of the love of the Father is what our hearts long for, it seeks after it intensely, and nothing can satisfy it but from the love of God. Many people try to find it in the pleasures of this world, the desire to be loved and to give love, the passion to pursue enjoyable things, like laughter, intimacy, new experiences, beauty and so much more. But these are to be done and found through the unity with the Spirit the Son and the Father. The knowledge that it’s not about the individual person but the whole body of Christ has been misrepresented and seen as a possession in this world’s natural culture. The evil one of the world deceives us to believe that we can find pleasure in wickedness outside of the being of Jesus. But it isn’t true for no matter the wine we experience or the senses used to intoxicate us with love. It is the love of God that will last forever and will keep us longing and seeking and hungering after the truth. Even the pleasures of blessings that God gives us through financial wealth, good relationships, and ministry opportunities cannot equal to or quench the desire to be loved and to give love. The superior pleasures of his word are better than the pleasures of this world. We need to acknowledge that the pleasures of the world are pleasurable but there is a force more powerful more satisfying more fulfilling than those pleasures. Intensely experiencing Jesus’ words can be unfolded by praying his word back to him, this is the superior pleasure of his mouth. A circle complete, a moment of true satisfaction, and the taste of the food he gives to us at his banquet table. Just as wine exhilarates the heart in the natural, so the words of God wow and excite us, in our lovesickness for the bridegroom in the spiritual. The longings of his heart to be revealed in us and the longings of our heart to see him come in the natural sense is so intense that lovesickness prevails and keeps us going in this life on the earth. God says I want people who are lovesick for me not be thriving in ministries and neglecting me in the secret place. From the lovesickness of God we give out of affection based obedience not feelings or religion based love. For a lovesick bride will do anything for their bridegroom. The standard of love, the insight and knowledge of how we love is found in the way the trinity love each other. It is revealing God, loving God and revealing it in your spirit. John 15:9, 17:25-26. When there is a cry in your heart to obey that is where God’s grace, his fellowship is given and he can express his enjoyment in us. We need to understand that there is a difference between spiritual immaturity and rebellion, because we are loved by God we are His favourite and he likes us. But when we get disciplined we feel that God doesn’t like us or he’s anger at us. God gives correction because he loves us and wants the best for us it is different from his anger- his anger is towards the rebels his wrath comes upon the rebellion. God likes us he just doesn’t like all that we do and so he disciplines in love. Just as a parent loves the child they discipline the action of the child, and brings correction to the way they do things. Revelation based passion for Christ- it takes the power of God to love God. It takes God to love God and it is in the understanding of the Knowledge of who God is that we are able to love him. Thus the importance to know God and make him known in our lives through the love we give to others. That we ourselves have received from the bridegroom. As we ponder and mediate on the image and perfume of Christ; which is his personality his beauty; we begin to get revelations of who we are as the bride of Christ. It’s the essence of the being of Christ revealed in mankind that emanates the love of God. And the perfume is not the activity in the physical that happens but the feeling and attention that is directed to Christ. It is the internal properties of a flower that creates the perfume that invigorates us to the smell and taste of pleasure, of delight, of enjoyment in the external flower. The smell draws us to the external flower. So it is with Jesus we see and smell, taste and experience his perfume his personality his beauty and are overcome with joy and excitement by his being both the external and internal. Thus the importance that we as humans need to be good reflectors of Christ, to give off the perfume we have experienced of Jesus so that it too will draw others to the nature of Jesus. We are the physical representation of Jesus just as Jesus is the physical representation of the Father. 2 Corinthians 6 talks about how his perfume becomes her perfume as it saturates her life. That as we walk in righteousness, walk out the kingdom culture of being truthful in speech, sincere in love, patient and full of kindness.... we will be pouring out his name the perfume, his being. God has made his name the only name that can be poured out, because it has sweetness to it a sent that attracts us, the father has done this through declaring and making His name praise in the world. As we accept Jesus’ free gift of eternal life and take on his yoke of himself we take his name; just as when you get married the woman takes the name of the husband; so too do we take on his name. As the perfume gets in our spirit it transforms us to the likeness of Jesus. The perfume draws us to it, so too does God draw us to himself, to experience in his chambers and his presence, in the secret place unique and personal memories of deep relationship between the bride and the groom. But sometimes he calls us to run with him to mountains and they can be simultaneous, but in season he calls us to run or he will draw us away to be loved by him and make memories with him, so that in the running we will not turn to the right or the left. The running seasons will make our lovesickness grow deeper more intimate, more real. We renew our minds with the experiences that are found in the secret place and help us know the wisdom of who he is so we will praise and rejoice over him. SOS 1:4 “We rejoice and delight in you, we will praise your love more than wine.”